Emily Brazelton points out in a recent Slate article that what's wrong with kids today -- college kids, 20s/30s, is that they've received the wrong kind of praise. Having heard all their lives that they are brilliant and the best at everything, receiving awards for all manner of mediocrity, they arrive in the office needing a pat on the head for the simplest thing, such as arriving to work on time. She reports that recent studies of college students have shown that they are demonstrably more narcissistic (and becoming more so every year) than previous generations of students.
Any teacher could have told you that as well. Encountering entitled, narcissistic students fills us with less-than-joy on occasion. But there are also plenty of kids that don't fall into this category at all.
One of my favorite lines from the Brazelton piece is, "The kids drink the Kool-Aid, but they know it" -- they know they're being praised for mediocrity, and as much as they enjoy hearing it, they also don't take it completely seriously.
And they yearn for honesty. So, praise your kids when it's appropriate. But keep it real.
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2 comments:
Don't forget that some people really are brilliant and the best at everything. Except sports...but who cares about sports? :)
It is hard these days to give honest evaluations because you are afraid that the child will be penalized for not being rated the best like everyone else is. Resisting giving all the stars, awards, preschool graduations, etc. is sometimes not understood by parents. We try to say that the learning is the reward in itself, which it is, but that is not always enough for them.
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